This is my experience trying to receive justice from a system that is designed to keep secrets.
I started out life as a military dependant. Got to see the country from one side to the other, at a cost.
Tattoos and peircings are a hobby of mine.
I'm a 4th Class Power Engineer.
And I love filing ATIP requests with the Federal Government.
Here I talk a bit about my involvement as a child with Canadian Armed Forces military social worker Captain Terry Totzke.
Captain Totzke was convinced that I was a homosexual because of what I had been found doing with the babysitter on Canadian Forces Base Namao.
My father bought into Terry’s horseshit.
I’m not sure if Richard bought Terry’s horseshit because Terry was a captain and Richard was a master corporal, or if Richard bought into Terry’s horseshit because Richard couldn’t accept responsibility for his sons being sexually abused for 1-1/2 years on a military base due to his refusal to raise his own children.
Either way, I still bear the scars from Terry’s “treatment” and my father’s decision to go along with Terry’s treatments.
These treatments in the modern day would amount to “conversion therapy”.
This conversion therapy has caused substantial damage in my life.
Also, as Terry was more concerned with the “homosexuality” I had apparently exhibited when I was sexually molested for 1-1/2 years, I didn’t receive any treatment for the major depression, severe anxiety, or other personality disorders I had exhibited as a result of the sexual abuse.
So, it wasn’t just the “conversion therapy” that caused me issues, it was the lack of treatment for issues that I had been diagnosed as having.
There is no modern day treatment that will erase this.
On November 7th and 8th my first lawyer and I will have a meeting with the lawyers in the matter of Earl Ray Stevens. This meeting is to see if all sides can reach a final agreement on the matter of an “out of court” settlement.
I don’t know what to expect with this meeting. The lawyer for the defendant in this matter has postulated that by the time Earl Ray Stevens abused me at the Denison Armouries when I was in cadets that I was already “damaged” from the abuse on Canadian Forces Base Namao. He even seemed to have honed in on items from my foster care records that I wasn’t even aware of.
One such thing that he honed in on came about because my lawyer had requested a fresh copy of my foster care records from the Alberta government at the start of this matter. I had never seen the quoted text that the lawyer for the defendant read during the meeting because this was redacted from the copy of the records I had obtained in 2011.
In this formerly redacted section my father had told the psychologist hired by the Canadian Armed Forces in November of 1980 that he blamed my behaviour and the behaviour of my brother on his mother, specifically stating this “his mother was frequently cruel to his children, especially when she was inebriated”.
This by the way is the same mother that Richard wrote out of our family history when he gave his statement to the CFNIS in 2011.
So I’ll have to see what the future holds so far as this settlement goes.
I received an interesting telephone call from my other lawyer on Friday. It seems that the Department of Justice is curious to whether or not I would entertain the possibility of an out of court settlement. As this matter is a class action this would affect all members of the class. we don’t have anything to lose on this.
The DOJ and DND may insist that if we take the out of court settlement that we’d have to agree to be bound by an NDA. This is something that I would have to discuss with my lawyer.
That said, an out of court settlement in the Captain McRae matter from Canadian Forces Base Namao would resolve the matter in a fairly quick time unlike the 10 to 15 years that the DOJ had warned me they would drag this matter out for.
Questions that I would have are would there be any payments towards the families of the victims of Captain McRae and his 14 year old accomplice who committed suicide over the years as a result of the abuse and the failure of DND and the CF to look after the victims properly?
Would all of the surviving victims receive equal payments?
Would DND and the CF reveal the names of all of the children involved and ensure that these victims are made aware of the cash settlement being offered?
Would I be gagged by a Non-Disclosure Agreement much like the 14 year old accomplice agreed to in December of 2008?
I sure those details will be worked out.
The one thing that settlements in both matters allows be to do is to obtain medical assistance in dying in much my original time frame.
It was always my intention to die either in 2023 or 2024.
By going with settlements in both matters I can now rest assured that I won’t be spending the next 10 to 15 years dealing with this crap.
If I apply for medical assistance in dying on March 20th, 2023, it will probably take about 4 to 6 months for me to undergo the psychiatric review that would be required.
There would be a 90 day “cooling-off period”.
Then I would be given my prescription for medical assistance in dying. From what I understand the prescription would be valid for up to one year.
This would put my death into 2024. I’m okay with that. I’ve suffered 40 years so far, another year or two isn’t going to kill me.
The problem is the military police, the Canadian Forces Special Investigations Unit, and numerous other “adults” such as Canadian Armed Forces officer Captain Terry Totzke were well aware of the abuse.
I this video I ponder if I did the right thing and if it was worth it at all.
Well, I sure got played for a sucker, didn’t I?
Was it worth it?
Should I just have kept living my life with the opinion of Captain Totzke and my father that I was a homosexual and that I “allowed” the babysitter to molest my younger brother rattling around in my skull?
As my father said, did I go and make things worse by sticking my nose where I had no business to?
Right now it’s seven months until I find out if Parliament will follow through with the recommendations of the committee overseeing further amendments to the Criminal Code of Canada to allow foe Medical Assistance in Dying for mental health issues such as depression.
If you remember, I did submit a brief to the Committee reviewing Medical Assistance in Dying.